How an Emotionally Intelligent Leader Leads

As told to Griffin Matis

Working in a shop has never been a stress-free environment. Dealing with customers, employee issues, and time-sensitive work can be frustrating and exhausting. In today’s market, however, technical skills can only go so far. Emotional intelligence is no longer an optional skill if you want to be successful, and employees look to you as a leader for a model. Dr. Dana Ñkaña of Automotive Doctor Consulting and Coaching Services breaks down how emotionally aware leaders operate, why emotional intelligence is necessary for success, and how to develop your skills as a compassionate leader.

An emotionally intelligent leader is somebody who is always ready to “read” people. First of all, they have to read themselves accurately, then they read the room, and finally, they respond with a purpose.

High-intelligence leaders tend to share a few common traits: They possess self-awareness, and they don’t take everything personally. When you deal with people who lack high emotional intelligence, everything that happens feels like a personal attack. Emotionally intelligent people stay steady. When things get stressful, they remain the same no matter what.

Sometimes people respond with impulse rather than purpose. An emotionally intelligent leader has the ability to manage emotions under pressure and understand what is driving other people to behave the way they do. They lead in a way that keeps performance high and relationships intact because that is what keeps everything moving in the right direction.

From Soft Skills to Hard Numbers

In the past, shops hired based on technical skills first. Now, owners are hiring for emotional intelligence and then training the technical side later. Developing this side of employees requires dedication and self-examination. If you even have to question whether your behavior is acceptable among your employees, it means you’re not doing something right.
Emotional intelligence is simply not a soft skill anymore. Being emotionally in tune with customers, understanding how they feel, and treating them well makes those customers come back. They will speak very highly of the shop, which in turn drums up more clients and drives those hard numbers up.

Think about it this way: For many, a car is the second biggest thing they own after their house. I am trusting this major asset to you, and I want you to treat me well. I want to feel seen and heard. When that doesn’t happen, people just decide they aren’t coming back.

Building Your Connections

Developing that intelligence can happen in different ways. To start, you could simply stop and think. Talk to yourself: “Did I react in a bad way, or was that good?” You might even ask someone else, “How was my behavior?”

That is the process of trying to be in tune with yourself—understanding that something went wrong and realizing you shouldn’t have said it that way. That is how we learn and change.

The next step for improving your emotional intelligence is to learn more about it. Take a class, attend a seminar, or join a coaching program. You can even learn a lot online. But if you want to understand it quickly, go to someone who has been trained on it before.

I ask shop owners every day to hold what we call a “Take Five” meeting. Everyone comes in for a quick five-minute conversation. During that meeting, you are reading the room and the people to see what is going on. If you see someone who is quiet or not participating, that is your opportunity to reach out afterward and ask, “Hey, is everything going well?”

You also have to train your employees on being emotionally in tune with themselves so they can manage how they treat others. Social skills are a part of emotional intelligence; if they don’t have them, they cannot connect, and that’s when you start having employees butting heads or driving off customers. If it is disruptive to the business, it must be addressed.

More Than Just a Greeting

When we are emotionally in tune with ourselves, we can actually connect with other people. Every day, when we work with or encounter people, we don’t know what is going on in their lives or what is driving their behavior. That is why it’s vital to be emotionally in tune with others to understand what’s happening.

I usually tell people that when I ask, “How are you doing?” it’s not just a greeting. I really want to know. If you connect with your technicians and your service advisors, you know exactly what is going on. It’s just like how a service advisor connects with a customer; maybe they saw a bicycle on the car rack and asked where they were going. When that customer walks in next time, they ask, “How is John doing? How was the bike ride?” That makes the customer feel very connected.

A shop owner should do the same with their staff: “How is your boy doing? How did the soccer game go?” All of this makes people feel valid and ready to return the next day.